Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic: How People Take In Your Message

Have you ever explained something perfectly and watched it not land? You showed the drawings, you walked through the plan, and the customer nodded and said “let me think about it” in the voice that means no. Then a week later your competitor, with a worse plan, got the job because he “just seemed to get what we were after.” What did he get that you did not?

Chances are he was speaking their language, and you were speaking yours. In my experience, people lean on different kinds of words: what they see, what they hear, and what they feel. We all use all three, but a lot of people favor one, and you can often hear it in the words that come out of their mouths. This is what I have noticed, not a proven personality test, and I cannot tell you how the split falls across everyone. For someone who knows what to listen for, it is often not hard to tell which is which.

The ones who lean on pictures

People who lead with sight respond to something visual, and their words show it. Listen to how they talk: “I just don’t see it.” “Show me.” “I never saw that coming.” “I get the picture.” “Can you paint me a picture of how this will look?” Their words are full of seeing, and their decisions are too. They want the drawing, the sample board, the before-and-after photos. Describe your service to them in feelings and they will be politely lost.

For a kitchen remodeler or a landscaper this is the customer who needs to stand in the yard while you point. For a bookkeeper it is the one who wants the chart, not the explanation. Give them something to look at early, and watch how quickly the conversation relaxes.

The ones who need to hear it

Others lead with sound. “That sounds right.” “I hear what you’re saying.” “Something about it just rings true.” “Tell me how it works.” They want to hear you explain it, in order, and they notice your tone as much as your words. In my experience they often remember conversations almost word for word, which means anything you promise out loud is a promise they will hold you to. Rushing them past the explanation to look at the pictures loses them just as surely as reading the specification sheet loses the picture-thinker.

These are the people who call rather than email, who want to talk it through, and who will judge your voicemail greeting before they judge your work.

The ones who need to feel it

The third group decides by feel. “It just doesn’t feel right.” “I need to get a handle on this.” “I want something solid.” “Let me get comfortable with it.” They want to touch the sample, walk the site, sit in the chair. They often take longer to decide, because a feeling has to settle, and pushing them for a fast answer makes the feeling worse. When they do decide, they tend to stay decided.

A restaurant, a spa, a furniture maker, a gym: these businesses are selling to this channel whether they know it or not. But every trade has these customers, and the contractor who hands them a printed estimate and leaves has given them nothing to hold.

Why this matters for your marketing, not only your meetings

I cannot tell you how your customers split across the three, and I would not trust anyone who claims to know. You do not need the split. A flyer that is all pictures, or a video that is all talking, or a website that is all “imagine how it will feel” leaves some of the people who see it out. The more channels you speak at once, the closer you are to being in the room with someone.

Look at your own material with this in mind. Is there something to see? Is there something to hear, or at least words that sound like a person talking? Is there anything that lets someone feel what it will be like? You do not need to hit all three in every sentence. You need all three somewhere, so nobody is left out.

This week

For the next five customer conversations, listen for their words and write down the verbs. Are they seeing, hearing or feeling? In your reply, use their kind of word once or twice: “Let me show you how that would look.” “Let me walk you through how it works.” “Let me help you get a feel for it.” Then run the same audit on your website and your best-performing ad: which kinds of words does it use, and which two is it missing?

This costs nothing but about ten minutes of attention per conversation until it becomes a habit. Rewriting a page of your site to cover all three is an hour or two. The first week feels clumsy, and by the third week it feels like you have always done it.