Filters: Deletion, Distortion, Generalization

Remember that argument you had with your boss years ago? A few days later it came back up, and you and your boss remembered completely different things. You were sure it went the way you remember. He was sure it went his way. The truth is that neither of you was right. You both changed the event on the way into memory, one of you probably made it worse and the other made it smaller, and neither of you noticed doing it.

We all sense the world in a different way, and we all use filters to cope with how much of it there is. Everyone has them, everyone uses them, the only question is which ones you lean on and how heavily. There are three I want you to know about, because your customers run every advertisement, every quote and every conversation with you through them. Ignoring them will not get you anywhere.

Deletion

Imagine absorbing everything around you. Every sight, every sound, every sensation, all at once, all day. Your system would be on constant overload. So your mind deletes. We all do it, some more than others, and we all delete different things. Have you ever looked at something with another person, then talked about it later and found you remembered completely different details and forgot completely different ones? That is deletion, and it is why two people can leave the same sales meeting with two different meetings in their heads.

For a business owner this cuts two ways. First, you have to stand out enough to survive instant deletion; a lot of advertising never gets noticed. Second, getting attention does not mean the message got through. Whatever you say or show, some of it will be gone. So repeat what matters. Ask questions to check what landed. And do not expect anyone to remember everything you said, did, or put in front of them. Trying to figure out who deletes what will only drive you crazy. Knowing that it happens, and building for it, is enough.

Distortion

Distortion is the boss argument. The mind bends what came in so it fits what is already there. Marketers are infamous for using it. You have seen the sign: “Entire store up to 60% off!” You walk in and find a few items on sale and fine print that says “on select items.” Many people delete the “up to” on the way in, then once inside they distort the purchase in their own heads as if they really got the deal. Put a sale sign on one side of a rack and not the other, and I would expect some people who picked from the wrong side to take it to the register anyway. I have not seen good numbers on that, so test your own sale signs and see what people do.

I show you that so you recognize it, and I would never suggest copying it. That kind of trick buys one transaction and costs the second. But distortion also explains something kinder: why a customer experiences your business completely differently than you do. Your spouse thinks the vacation was the most relaxing week of the year, and you cannot see it now that you are back in the stress of the business. Neither of you is lying. You are both filtering.

Generalization

“It is just like the time…” “This is the same thing as what…” Have you heard those and then found out it was not like the time, and not the same thing at all? That is generalization, the mind grabbing the nearest thing it already knows so it does not have to evaluate something new. Imagine having an Italian restaurant and a guest saying “this is exactly the food we got at that other place,” and the other place was Mexican. Was the food the same? No. They are talking about their experience, not your food.

Say a homeowner collects three roof estimates. You see the underlayment, the flashing and the warranty; they see three roofs and compare the totals. It is easier to put all roofs in one box. You would be just as lost if they explained the difference between kinds of yarn. Neither of you is right or wrong. You are both making the world manageable.

Small businesses use this constantly, and often well. “Just like the big guys, only friendly.” “Why pay more for the same thing?” Both lean on the customer already knowing a category, then add a slight advantage. It works when the customer really does think the same thing is missing from the big competitor that you think is missing. If you ever struggle with explaining what you do in one breath, this is the tool: name the familiar thing, then say what makes you different.

Read it as three people

Take your most-used piece of marketing, a flyer, your homepage or the quote template you email, and read it as three different people. The deleter: what will they skip, and is the one thing that matters repeated? The distorter: what could be read as a bigger promise than you mean, and will that cost you later? The generalizer: what familiar thing will they compare you to, and have you told them what is different? Fix one thing for each.

It takes two hours with your own material and a red pen, and it is free. For a second opinion, hand the same piece to a customer you trust and ask them to tell you what it said, without looking at it again. What they leave out and what they add is your filter report.

What did your last customer remember from your first conversation, and what did they forget?